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It was so disappointing. She knows better. And don’t try to comfort me by saying that ‘she did her best’ or that we as parents did everything within our power to raise her correctly and see that she succeeded… the fact is, she failed and therefore we failed. It’s unforgivable and at this point I don’t even know how we’ll be able to move on. Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to touch the depth of our pain and sadness.
Ever since her ‘failure’ or ‘fall’ or however you want to label it, I’ve been running it through my mind over and over again asking, “What could we have done differently?”
From a young child we raised her with the best teaching we could get. Before her birth we really weren’t into, you know, “the organizational thing.” It just wasn’t on our radar screen. But once you have children, things change; your focus changes. So we set out to find the best mentoring, loving, pastoring person we could find… and that led us to Dr. Franklin and the folks over at 5th and Union.
While we know little about all of the things Dr. Franklin consistently preaches – we weren’t raised with that sort of background – and we’re a bit embarrassed to admit that we never really delved very deeply into these subjects ourselves. I mean, isn’t that what he’s for? While much of what he teaches resonates with my wife and I, we were content to stand on the sidelines and support our daughter – we never really wanted to dive in for ourselves. At this point I’m thinking that’s a painful lesson learned!
One of the things we liked most about the entire fellowship was their awareness of public perception. They spared no expense on the building, grounds and facilities. Rather than hiring ‘any ole Joe’ they sought out a degreed professional – and from a prestigious school at that! A “doctor” no less… which some would say is even overly qualified! But not for us; we wanted our daughter learning life’s lessons from the best. Period.
We love Dr. Franklin and how he covers all the bases when teaching – he even shows short film clips to keep the kids attention and to help demonstrate how to do all the right things. That’s critically important – because this is a high stakes game we’re in – you either win or lose – God knows there’s no ‘in-between.’ I guess the knowledge of that last point is what’s most devastating to my wife and me at this point.
For a lifetime we’ve schooled our daughter in ‘how to fight the good fight,’ compete, be disciplined and ‘win the race.’ But it was all to no avail. Last Saturday evening her world and our world came crashing down… she grievously ‘missed the mark.’
It was in the area of her specialty, the freestyle, a simple sprint to the finish. The gun went off, the swimmers hit the water – except our daughter – who first stumbled off the block and then really hit the water! It was humiliating. She finished out of medal contention altogether. We were so embarrassed we didn’t even want to greet her as she returned to us – crying, of course.
Baffled and embarrassed all I could think to say to her was “How could you do this to us? We went over this and over this… how many times did we watch clips together of the Olympics in order to see the way it’s done… how much more simple could this be than repeating our mantra of ‘What Would Michael Phelps Do?’” He’d win, that’s what! Every time. No matter how close…he won. And all you had to do, all we ever asked of you, was to swim the way Michael swam. Was that asking too much??
And don’t give me that “I’M NOT MICHAEL PHELPS!” look either. The fact is, you failed. Period.
“YOU, young lady, have become a great disappointment to us and I just don’t know if we’ll ever be able to forgive you for this.” Now, let’s go home, it’s late… we’ve got church in the morning.
10 comments to “A Parable: WWMPD?”
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It speaks so deeply of organized religion.
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Thanks for the confirmation, Tim. I have always used that analogy when being confronted by the WWJD crowd. I always likened it to my daughter’s car breaking down in the middle of nowhere and saying to herself, “Now what would my mechanic do? Good stuff.
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Superb, yet heart wrenching for our Father who watches his own beloved children treated this same way.
One of the reasons I created “Doghouse” was because from the gitgo it admits that is where we are. It came also from a lyric by friend of 3 decades Mike Roe of the 77s where he sings “I’m in the doghouse forever, I’m in the poorhouse forever and ever…” I say it is for the “spiritually dyslexic” but really there is a bt more to it isn’t there.
Great parable. I shall pass it on Tim. -
That reminds me of the sad story of those parents (in this case Catholic) who hired a hit man to murder their own child because she chose not to come home from college for Thanksgiving dinner. What made it ever more poignantly sad was that she had never masturbated, had never eaten meat on Fridays and never once missed Sunday Mass.
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Wow, John… I’m 0-3
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I think religious performance and sports performance are so similar that they’re redundant and that both have been obsolete in some key ways for a loooong time.
We were just talking this week about Andre Agassi, all the embarrassing moments of performance guilt that sports mania throws on its own elite. Same goes for the guilt inherent in religious mania.
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As I was reading, I thought: This is a parable about love, isn’t it—the need to receive it fully so we can give it freely. Stories like this serve as a mirror…reflecting back to us our own state of being. Thanks Tim!
If I “have not love…I am nothing”. Love will stand boldly alongside the one who has endured a temporary defeat. Love will be the shield between the stone throwers and the accused. Love gently brings understanding and correction to the “big brother” of the “prodigal son”. Love humbles itself to wash the feet of not only the one who has been soiled traveling the “right” roads, but also the one who stepped in “s_ _t “ while traveling the “wrong” road.
Love sees the beauty IN the beast. Love believes in possibilities and points to a better way. Love affirms the inherent, birth-right value of another. Love lifts up…is a friend to the friendless and the forsaken. Yet Love is also wise and truthful….and has such power and influence, there’s no need for It to pretend. Love embodies (and requires) tremendous courage, that’s probably why there is so little visible evidence of it in the world, in our communities, and even in our extended families. I’ve failed at loving authentically many times, but I have no desire to be “nothing” in this world, so I invite Love to overwhelm me in a way that flows as naturally as breathing in and exhaling…that is my ongoing prayer for myself and others because I know it could change everything.
So many wounded souls, whipped by the brutality of judgment and condemnation, (whether self-induced or others-induced) will pass the same forward if Love doesn’t intervene. The church had that assignment, but???
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And at the next swim meet, she does everything right, wins…parents aren’t there…next one, she wins…parents aren’t there…so for the rest of her tween years, she becomes a perfectionist, thinking if she “gets it right” surely her parents will love her…Thank Goodness God isn’t that way
That came from a deep place, Tim. Thanks for writing this. I’m still thinking about it, and connecting it to my heart:)