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I think one of the most impactful – yet unused – tools we have for living is the power at our disposal to frame the story of our lives. And we all know how and when we have used it to our benefit or detriment. You and I both know people who can pull a dark cloud out of the brightest of days – and because they do, darkness is the reality with which they get to live. And we also know people who, in the most challenging and extreme circumstances seemingly glide through today and into tomorrow.
What we are witnessing, in both cases, is the power of story at work. One is choosing life, the other death. One is tapping into the infinite love that defines their true self while the other buys into the delusional voice of ego telling them that they are getting far less out of life than they deserve.
One believes that they are owed something in this life – and the reason for living is to collect it! The other embraces that they are pursued by Presence, by the infinitely Unnamable Spirit in which ‘they move and breathe and have their being.’ And so, from the abundance of their true personhood they exist to give and to bless and to be the embodiment of love incarnate.
Today, physical challenges or not, my scars and your scars are a sign of our past. And something we would all do well to receive is that scars don’t hurt. The very fact that they point to past pain and trauma is reason to celebrate that in the present moment scars merely exist as residue of a past no longer real. Without the depth of yesterday’s pain would we really know the height of today’s joy? Scars (physically or emotionally) are signposts of victory, road maps of a journey that could not be prematurely ended; signs that we once had a choice to quit or press on and we voted for life.
And what of the lingering affects (pain) of another’s actions? How do we tell that story? How do we frame that past? Simply put: There is no story to tell. There is only a past memory fighting to control a present reality.
My life, my health, is what it is. And so I awake each day to the newness of life and the anticipation of the abundance it will bring. I embrace whatever aches, pains or limitations I have as the reality of the form I carry through this world. But that form is not me; no longer will I allow it to deceive me into thinking that it constitutes any part of my true self. My true self is eternal and beyond what can be known – greater than I can fathom – and impossible to harm, damage or destroy!
This is the secret to obtaining a new past: By living fully in the present.
14 comments to “Get a New Past (part 2)”
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Tim, Thanks for your thoughts today. As I sat reading the words you wrote I couldn’t help but think of my lovely wife. She for 20 plus years and counting has had to deal with the struggles and pain from her Arthritis and yet there isn’t a day that passes by that she doesn’t give the best that she can give to everyone around her. In the entire time we have been together I have never once seen or heard her complain. She has always put her family first on any list. To look at her at first glance one would see a frail small body, but inside she is as strong or stronger then anyone I have ever known. She never gives me the opportunity to feel sorry for myself because she exemplifies what true strength is. Tim she is my hero and my strength, I wouldn’t be who I am today without her by my side everyday showing me what true spirit is all about……….Andy
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Great post, Tim. You’ve got me pondering how I can use this to help my spouse who is still grieving for a sister who died eight years ago.
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Thanks for posting this. I often get into a negative space thinking/ talking about past hurts.. working myself up into a frenzy.. and tension in my shoulders… – ‘no story to tell’ – I’m gonna try that next time, embracing the Now without judging or reliving the past.
It makes sense that YHWH told the Jews his name was ‘I AM’.. ultimate present witness
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This post contains truth that sets us free! “Without the depth of yesterday’s pain would we really know the height of today’s joy?…. Scars as signposts of victory… road maps of a journey”. Beautifully spoken. Tim!
We can’t escape scars, there’s no risk free existence in this body, but we can view past emotional pain, injustices, and health challenges as “mirrors” that move us to question and seek deeper. My scars, like “great teachers”, have revealed things that I might never have discovered in their absence. What I “screamed” for relief from the most, became conduits of transformation in my life –tools to work with, rather than labels to identify me. Thanks for your encouraging testimony and insights.
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When I discovered & believed the truth about who I am in Christ my whole life began to improve.
The search through the past for answers to my present began to grow dimmer & dimmer. My search for joyous living was becoming a reality as I stopped reliving and blaming my past.
When I find myself going down that road I am so thankful to realize that I no longer must feed that need to feel justified for my anger. It is so wonderful to be able to freely acknowledge everything before an ever loving and caring Father (w/o having to clean it up 1st).
The memories of the past or present troubles cannot capture and imprison me unless I allow them to.
The abundant life is not something relegated to the future but is ours now, to live in & enjoy.
Thank you, Tim, for so graphically demonstrating this truth by your story. -
Transformation is the word I came away thinking from your post, Tim, as Cathy mentioned too. It’s unbelievable the people in my life who have pointed to how great people (including me) are without magnifying ego. It’s the voice, the contribution of freedom from what appears not to be any such thing as freedom. I remember years ago being impressed by Thoreau’s words that freedom can’t really be taken away from a person just by putting them in a locked room. Real freedom is not being in free circumstances but in realizing your freedom wherever you are. Apostle Paul exemplified the same thing by speaking and singing praises with his friend in prison.
Encouraging words, thanks once again, Tim.
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Thanks, Tim. Learning so much here from you and everyone else. Blessings.
I am trusting that we are not these bodies, nor these scars and that our shedding of identification with both, through embracing their sacred human-ness imparts an awe-full wisdom.
Peace-
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Great stuff, Tim.
It’s funny how we talk about (re)framing our stories so often, yet completely ignore the past. These two posts have given me quite a bit to ponder.
Cheers, mate.
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Thank you, Tim, for these posts. I have met you now twice since your accident. And I must say that connecting these words you have written with the positive demeanor and attitude you exude in person adds up to an effective learning experience for me.
It is only the light of the present that is able to clearly reveal the gifts of the past. There are always gifts. Thank you for sharing this.
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I agree with Sonnyboy — you live what you believe, Tim. And it’s contagious…!
I have to wonder how much we experience (disease, accidents, etc.) is a result of believing that they’re inevitable … still working through this one. Still dealing with the “yeah-buts” that rise up … but there’s something needing shift here…
Shift happens …
Shalom, Dena
Excellent perspective. I’ve honestly never heard it phrased like this before (and the scars metaphor is quite insightful).
Just yesterday I was looking at an old Unitarian hymn that reminds me of sections of what you’ve written here:
“Just as long as I have breath,
I must answer, ‘Yes’ to life;
though with pain I made my way,
still with hope I meet each day.
If they ask what I did well,
tell them I said, ‘Yes’, to life”