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In our post last week we spoke about unresolved issues that often cause those of us seeking to help and serve others to short-circuit our own effectiveness. In a way, because we have not become conscious of our own pain and internal bankruptcy, we may experience daunting feelings ranging from deep loneliness or alienation to intense burn-out.
So how do we recover? How do we avoid entering into such phases? How do we become living streams that flow into the souls of others who are existentially parched – without causing further damage to ourselves?
I think one of the most effective ways to procure and live out of our inner wealth is by clinging to the path of gratitude. Etymologists tell us that the word ‘grateful’ implies the feeling of fullness and thankfulness for all that is ‘great.’ Dr. Lorne Ladner writes, “As we think of others’ kindness and grow grateful, our feelings of fullness allow our compulsive desires and ego defenses to relax… cultivating gratitude helps us feel more connected to others and also helps us develop feelings of loving affection, compassion, and the wish to repay or pass on the kindness we’ve been shown.”
For me, cultivating gratitude is the essence of the spiritual life. When I reflect, deeply, upon all that has been given me – by friends, family, G-D, et.al. – immediately I begin to feel full. And this fullness, in the way I frame the story, is nothing less than the one Source of all life releasing within me.
With little reflection I can see how I have all the fullness of Life within me at all times. This is the fullness that was kind enough to birth me into a universe exploding with Presence – a source no less than Love – eternal, infinite, constant.
My gratitude, and therefore my inner wealth, explodes within as I recall all of life’s blessings – everywhere abundant. So abundant are these blessings that I understand how Jesus could say that we ought to pray for our enemies. My enemies are of the same Source as me. They are blessed. They are eternal. They are seeking the same abundant life which I seek. And I wish them nothing but fullness, love and peace.
And if you and I can get to the point of really owning what Jesus said about praying for our enemies, how far along will we be in extending our love and help toward those around us? We will be so filled with internal abundance and spiritual wealth that we’ll be nothing less than inner philanthropists, spreading love to all creation!
So, today, set aside some time to cultivate gratitude. Reflect on the kindness others have shown to you; meditate on the almost endless list of things for which you can be grateful – people, things, places, insights, experiences – and the list goes on.
And perhaps most of all, grasp hold of the abundance that is yours in recovering all that is coming your way that you don’t even yet know about… the ‘stuff’ that is, as the Good Book says, “beyond all you could ask or imagine”!
Life is good.
3 comments to “The Helping Conundrum: Part 2”
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I think gratefulness is the point. Feeling full of what you have rather than starved of what we don’t means that we have more than enough to share with others.
Someone posted today: “What I resist persists” AND “There are no shadows on that which I direct the light of my attention.”
Those are two things which would have sounded like sheer hooey to me a few years ago. I see the point of them now for some reason. And I bet what I’ve written and what you’ve written, Tim, will get different reactions according to the viewpoint that shines its light on the writing.
I’m grateful to know you online in this most wonderful way.
~Katherine
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The economic principle of diminishing marginal utility might explain why people are NOT more grateful for what they have in abundance. When something people want is restricted or in scarce supply, then there’s a greater demand for it.
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As it’s explained in Wikipedia:The paradox of water and diamonds
Main article: Paradox of valueThe “law” of diminishing marginal utility is said to explain the “paradox of water and diamonds”, most commonly associated with Adam Smith[16] (though recognized by earlier thinkers).[17] Human beings cannot even survive without water, whereas diamonds are mere ornamentation or engraving bits. Yet water had a very low price, and diamonds a very high price, by any normal measure. Marginalists explained that it is the marginal usefulness of any given quantity that determines its price, rather than the usefulness of a class or of a totality. For most people, water was sufficiently abundant that the loss or gain of a gallon would withdraw or add only some very minor use if any; whereas diamonds were in much more restricted supply, so that the lost or gained use would be much greater.
The “law” does not tell us such things as why diamonds are naturally less abundant on the earth than is water, but helps us to understand how this affects the value imputed to a given diamond and the price of diamonds in a market.
————————————————-Isn’t it interesting how the metaphor of economics does so much to explain how we relate to each other and to spirituality?
~Katherine
Tim what a blessing to know that love others brings life and joy to our hearts and minds.
Love Dan