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Claire was one of my favorite customers. She worked in one of the local hospitals when I was in business in Houston, Texas. In stature, Claire was a large woman – about 5’10” tall with a big boned structure that could (and did) carry a lot of weight. But Claire was also one of those people who’s so fun, so funny, so authentically cool that you just never noticed.
One day Claire and I got into a discussion about health issues and our struggles with weight. She relayed to me a story about the last time she had gone on a diet and how unceremoniously it came to an abrupt end. The downfall began, she told me, in the cafeteria of the hospital.
After a week of eating nothing but salads and a bit of fruit, Claire found herself standing behind a man in a blue suit, walking through the buffet line who just happened to have an appetite for everything Claire was dying to eat! Since the salads and fruit were at the end of the line, Claire had to patiently wait as the man in front of her selected his items.
She found herself staring at the mashed potatoes and gravy – and sure enough, that’s what he ordered. Next she was salivating over the roast beef – which the man also ordered. After that it was the side dish of gravy and then the creamed peas. She was certain this man was sent from the pit of hell, could read her mind and was purposefully ordering everything she wanted but couldn’t have – the bread, the butter, the soft drink and then finally, the coup-de-grace – two white sugar powdered doughnuts! Her favorites.
Remaining strong, Claire resisted temptation, ordered her salad with light dressing on the side, found a place to sit and readied herself as she attempted to put to rest the trauma of following the demon in the blue suit through the food line – until, that is, he sat directly in front of her just one table removed.
She watched as he ate the mashed potatoes and gravy, the roast beef, the peas, the corn, the bread. With every bite the man took she found herself cursing the day of her birth! And then finally came the white sugar powdered doughnuts – it was almost too much to bear. She sat, mesmerized as he took the first one, raising it to his mouth, enjoying each bite as if was his last. He caressed it, licked the sugar off his fingers, sumptuously enjoying each bite. Then suddenly, the man finished, arose and walked away…. and there sat one white powdered sugar doughnut still resting on his plate!
“No, you can’t do it” Claire said to herself. “You don’t just eat leftovers off other people’s plates – have some dignity!” But ‘dignity,’ on this day, was not to be. Overcome from a week of dieting and being mocked by the voice of the doughnut staring her in the face, Claire rose, quickly walked by the man’s plate, grabbed the doughnut and with one sweeping move shoved it entirely into her mouth. As she chomped, the white sugar powder poofed from her lips onto the front of her royal blue blouse, crumbs spilling onto the floor… and then it happened… she looked up only to see the man in the blue suit returning to his plate with his second cup of coffee!
Even if you can’t stay on your diet this weekend, please restrain yourself from eating other people’s food.
Blessings!
6 comments to “The Humiliation of Dieting!”
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Very funny Tim!.But the good thing is she will probably think twice next time about doing that. Maybe look around first and see if the person really left.
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LOL!
As a former bulimic, I’ve got a slew of humiliating stories … utter loss of ALL dignity, as I would dig in dumpsters for the candy/cookies/cakes that I’d thrown in the day (or days!) before, during a temporary moment of will-power. I experienced too-many prodigal-pig-sty moments … though it took me years, actually two decades, to finally “come to my senses” and return Home.
I guess when we finally see ourselves as we are, for who we are, we don’t any longer imagine our needs to be met by that which we can put in our mouths … but by that which comes out of us. For me, it’s no longer the food that tempts me … but the praise of man. Powder-sugar-coated words that tickle my ego … (“Who said that?!?”).
The journey continues …!
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Reminds me of Georges’ diet in a ‘Seinfeld’ episode… Someone threw out a chocolate eclair and when he went into the kitchen, there sat the eclair, in plain view, on top of the garbage. Looking around, to make sure no one was watching, he grabbed it out of the garbage and as he took the first bite, someone entered the kitchen and caught him in the act.
In another episode of ‘Seinfeld’, Jerry ( finally ) had a date with a gal that he really ‘wanted’. He of course was on his best behavior on that date.
One day, while driving in his car and stopped at a light, he started to pick his nose only to look over at the car next to him and lock eyes with his date. Throughout the remainder of the program he tried to convince others ( himself ?) that he was only brushing something from his nose.
These are funny because we all can relate to similar situations in our own lives. ‘Funny’ though (in our minds at those moments) how we can suffer extreme devastation because we have been tricked by the illusion our egos have held us to. Some ‘perfect worldly standard’ where ‘I’ would never do such a thing! Rather than identifying ourselves with the Christ, the living Spirit within us.
I’m not sure if it originated with him, but, quoting something David Hoffmeister has said, “it’s another day to go and extend forgiveness. Start with yourself”. -
Ok, Deb … this is uncanny. First, I resonated with your comment because I recently wrote a blog entry about how I’m pretty sure that Jesus had all the normal bodily functions that we do, and thus “Jesus pooped” could, or perhaps should, have been a verse (likely “sanitized” out of scripture, LOL!).
And THEN, I read you quoting David Hoffmeister… here’s the uncanny part. I just heard of him, for the first time, yesterday (coincidentally my birthday). I’ve been dabbling with ACIM readings, being drawn to them (even as I resist, LOL!), and his name came up … I had saved his website to peruse today … and now I see you quoting him here … Hmmm…
OMG… lol! Terrible temptations. Oh!