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Check out the following quotes and guess who had the audacity to say them:
Geez, you’re fat!
You stupid loser!
Way to go, Einstein!
I mean… how could you do that?!
No wonder nobody likes you!
I don’t think you’ll be winning a metal for best parent anytime soon!
You’re such a lousy person – your spouse must be disgusted with you!
You don’t have friends because you don’t deserve them!
Your personality sucks!
You’re a failure: An utter… abject… reeking… failure!
If there is a hell, nobody deserves to go there more than you!
If somebody could say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you’re the one I’m betting on!
You have no willpower whatsoever. None. Zippo!
Okay, who said these things… and to whom did they say them?
YOU DID… you said them about yourself to yourself – these and sadly, many more! Things you would NEVER say to others, you perpetually say to yourself. And that is, or should be, an eye-opening thought to spend some time contemplating.
If you think about it, we could stand to be a whole lot more compassionate to ourselves, eh?
The next time you find yourself saying something critical to yourself, do this: Imagine standing in line behind a complete stranger at the bank or the grocery store, and then saying to ‘them’ what you just said to ‘yourself.’ You’ll be surprised at how mortified such a thought can be – and then you’ll also begin wondering why you would be so unkind to yourself.
How odd it is that we save our nicest side for complete strangers while unloading our hatred, angst, frustration and negative emotions on ourselves. If it’s wrong to say such things to others, you can be certain it’s equally wrong to say them to yourself.
We may think we’re deserving of such criticism, but we aren’t. ‘How can I be so certain,’ you ask? Because everybody – everybody – does the same thing. All of us have had our moments when we turned on ourselves, unleashing a barrage of very unflattering criticisms that were, well, not very nice.
And while we may feel justified in saying such things to ourselves, the fact is that sooner or later these same feelings (or God help us, exact words) get expressed to those closest to us. We unleash these negative feelings on our children, siblings, spouses, etc. Negative emotions never remain behind secured walls deep within us. They always find their way to the surface.
So, as you go about your day(s), be on guard for any negative self talk. Then imagine saying such things to a complete stranger. Then laugh… and cut yourself some slack. You deserve it. You’re awesome. No, wait, it’s more than that… you’re divine!
10 comments to “The Meanest Person You Know!”
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Good point!
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Oh crap…now you just ruined my new book, a Thompson-esque romp called “Fear and Loathing in Mac’s Mind”?
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I’ll be showing this one to my 12-year-old son. He’s the most self-critical kid I’ve ever known. Guess he’s been eavesdropping on his dad’s internal dialogue.
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Yup. We ARE loving our neighbors as ourselves … pretty crappy, no?
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Reminds me of a sign hanging on the wall at a club i belong to. Kindness is the highest form of wisdom.
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After locking my keys in my car today, I watched a crazy lady yell at my sweet mother who was bringing me a spare key. I was thinking about how terribly mean she must be to herself if she can yell at a complete stranger. Maybe she will find her way to this blog and a little self forgiveness…
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This is really good and so true! Thank you for the food for thought.
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Tim,
That is profound. I never thought about the inner dialogue that is abusive. The inner thoughts that has it own abusive language. After a day of this, we
meet a person and dared not think a bad thought about them. The inner language of woundology has so advanced in our generation.
Amen Brother: One of the greatest things to remember is Failure and all the other perceived negative things in our lives are all EVENTS and never THE PERSON!!!!!