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The first three words of a popular book are, “Life is difficult.” Surely truer words were never spoken. We deal with a lot of ‘stuff’ in this life (perhaps another word beginning with ‘s’ comes to mind) – things that break our hearts, bring us to our knees and even sometimes, take a real run at crushing our souls. And even though we might know that there are many ways to interpret such events – many ways to tell the story – nevertheless these things sneak in with all the stealth of a Ninja, threatening to steal away our joy for living.
When these events come (and my how often they do come!), the balance of our worlds often tilt off their axis. For a period of time anyway, life seems unworkable – even undesirable. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Personally, to help me stabilize, to find true North again, here is a statement I find myself frequently repeating: “the happiness or unhappiness of people is often based upon what happens… not realizing that ‘what happens’ is the most unstable thing in the universe.”
The point is that our lives cannot ebb and flow with the ‘events’ that occur in them. Our good days cannot be good because things went well and our bad days cannot be bad simply because they didn’t. Does that sound idealistic? Something easy to say, but impossible to live? Something a person might post on their blog but not stamp on their heart?
It’s a deep teaching, for sure – but it’s also one of the most wonderful spiritual disciplines to meditate upon and then make a practice of implementing that I have found – especially on the most challenging of days. I find it restores a substantive beauty to life.
Presently my wife Gwynne and I are dealing with the news that her brother, only 57 years old, has terminal cancer and it appears the time he has left in this dimension is tragically brief. How are we to receive and cope with such news? Does life stop? Can our grief find compatibility with our joy or must we choose between the two? Can we not rejoice and grieve in the joyous reality of Presence in our life, his life, and in the lives of everyone else inhabiting this planet? Does the depth of this thing we call death not, for us, deepen the value we hold for all human life? Does this pain not carve out a deeper space within in which to experience Love and Presence in the time each of us has left?
While the events of our days are topsy-turvy indeed, the anchors we hold onto don’t have to be. We have choices. And perhaps, for me, the best choice is to repeat this mantra often: “the happiness or unhappiness of people is often based upon what happens… not realizing that ‘what happens’ is the most unstable thing in the universe.”
My encouragement to you is to not rise and fall with the tides of life. Instead, keep an eye out for your reaction to events you may be tempted to define as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and how your emotional outlook is affected. Then purposefully repeat the mantra and opt for stability – in all things opt for joy and authenticity. There is a time to rejoice and a time to weep. There is a time for mourning (deeply) and a time for celebration. But in both, in all things, are we not filled with Life, Presence, and the constant energy of the Unnameable?
And knowing ‘that’ is beyond anything that can ‘happen’ today.
In all your days – I wish you deep peace.
17 comments to “The Most Unstable Thing in the Universe”
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Wonderful.
And one of the most important spiritual lessons we can practice and strive toward. Reminds me of the old Beatles chorus:
“Nothing’s going to change my world.”
This is why I find meditation (and prayer) so important. When I take time to root myself in eternity – that which does not change – then I can watch the storm-like world whirl around me in whatever ways that it manifests that day. But I am then no longer swept up in the current, rather find identity in that “which does not HAPPEN.” Those sessions of meditation and centering prayer help train me in that so as the storm comes, I am more likely to remain unmoved.
It’s a slow learning process and I’m only in the beginning stages of actualizing it.
Additionally, I wanted to send my prayers with your family. May your wife’s brother and everyone involved find peace, love and Presence during this difficult situation.
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Oh I love that book. Wow Kevin. Good memory. I read it half a lifetime ago.
What a timely reframing of the continually vanishing insubstantial nature of our days. This is the thing I hung onto for dear life at one time and why I don’t want to be 18 or younger again. It’s getting easier to remember this too shall pass. There’s a joke with that which is way too easy for a 6 year old to guess … but nevermind.
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This post is musically evocative: Life is Sweet. There are probably a million songs with this same message.
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I once heard a wise man say that our faith has to be able to face a Jewish child murdered in the holocaust. For me it was coming home from work and finding my wife dead (meningitis)
One of the reasons I am not an aetheist is that one has to find a narrative to deal with situations like this and the Christian one seems to me to do so. -
Great thoughts by each one here. I have often wondered about what goes on in ones mind when the most devastating of news enters? May God give you both the peace you desire throughout this process. Life can have great moments one minute and then the next seemingly be not worth the energy. But through it all God is All in All.
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Tim, my thoughts and prayers will be with you all and I wish your family peace. I affirm with you the truth in our being.
I can only reiterate what Trevor so wisely stated in his response. “When I take time to root myself in eternity – that which does not change – then I can watch the storm-like world whirl around me in whatever ways that it manifests that day.”
Yes.
Thanks for being here now Tim, and fellow Post Christians… and for your presence.
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It is so good to be One with you, Gwynne & her brother, in solidarity, compassion and peace. Thanks for such depthful sharing. Receive my heartfelt caring.
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First, my heart goes out to you and Gwynne, her brother and all those in his “circle of life” at the news of his terminal illness. This all hits “close to home” for me. Having faced the recent and unexpected passings of my Dad, our beloved aunt, and my cousin’s husband, to whom we were quite close, I connect with your pain and the demands of it
As I read your post, it reminded me how quickly we often tend to judge what happens (and even what doesn’t happen as we would like or pray) from a very limited perspective. I find your entire post to be a tender encouragement toward answering this profound question long before ‘what happens’ shows up: “in all things, are we not filled with Life, Presence, and the constant energy of the Unnameable?”
I’ve learned that The “Unnameable” -The Presence never stops revealing more, layer by layer, as we have need and as we are willing and open to receive. Believing this is faith and increasingly produces the living hope that allows us to experience, as you mention, both grief and an inner peace/joy simultaneously. This living hope frees us to “walk between the worlds” (as some of the ancients have described it). If we don’t fully believe this, then we’ll live with a cloud of fear and dread of all the potential instabilities of life which, as you stated, have appeared and are certain to appear. Yet, they are not just meaningless miseries nor futile manifestations of a “fallen world”. They are the mirrors that reflect back to us our own truth and faith forcing the question: “Do I believe The Presence is present”? As the question penetrates our circumstances and our hearts, our layers begin to be peeled back that we might know ourselves and be known by others—something the soul deeply longs for. The instabilities can serve to remind us that the experiences that we tend to judge as two separate and opposing forces (like darkness and light/good and bad) really never exist outside of or apart from The Presence. They are encompassed by One source.
I didn’t know ahead of time how I or my Dad would be able to face his last days. But, it is this Presence that “whispers” its great truths at our most vulnerable times… and It did as I comforted Dad while he took his last breaths and then fell to my knees in thankfulness for the ease of his transition between the worlds. During the greatest times of vulnerability, we can help point each other toward faith and this living hope by offering our presence as the ‘aroma’ and the ‘vessel’ of The Presence in a type of holy connectedness. The question is one we can answer together, as my Dad and I did during his last few days here. “Do I really believe The Presence is always and ever present?” Together, we answered “Yes”, and as Dad prepared to pass from life to life, he rested peaceably…and so did I.
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Thank you for that manta of encouragement.
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I’m learning that I’m to “judge not according to appearances” … not good, not evil … but that God IS.
And I find that I need steady reminders of this … I love that we’re all helping each other that way.
Thank you!
Shalom, Dena
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I’m finding your post’s to be profound, thought provoking, truthful, in a wonderful way that is quite inviting…thank you.
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I needed this today – I am emotionally spent and focusing on the what is NOT that is scaring me and the WHAT IS that is breaking my heart. My perspective is a bit off – thank you for helping me re-focus. luv ya !
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Beautiful!
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easy does it
Another heartfelt post Tim. Thanks so much. What a wonderful way to start the day.
PS: The book that begins “Life is difficult.” is The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. Do I get a door prize?