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I would think that most of us are familiar with the song What the World Needs Now. And of course what that is, according to the song, is “love, sweet love… that’s the only thing there’s just too little of.”
Who wouldn’t agree that ‘more love’ amongst a humanity seemingly always involved in (or poised for) some sort of conflict isn’t exactly what’s needed? But how do we get there?
Some would say via religion or a heightened sense of spirituality – valid as that may be on some levels, I don’t think it’s the starting point. Just witnessing the internal conflicts among and within religion(s) sort of shoots that idea down. We as a species just seem to be a cantankerous lot: Drive slow in front of me on the freeway and, much to my chagrin, you’ll soon learn that about me. (Personality type is a bear to overcome!)
Both my experience and intuition tells me that what the world first needs now, is conversation, sweet conversation… that’s the only thing there’s just too little of. Deep and empathic conversation, it seems, is the ‘a-priori’ to love.
Time and again I have found that this sort of conversing encourages a certain mutual-modification to take place. That is, I come off of my stance a little and move toward you as you do the same with me. Each of us comes away with enhanced understanding and mutual respect of the other. Even in cases where there remain deep differences between us, they cannot and do not keep us from building a bridge over these divides in order for more dialogue to occur. And over time, what often develops is love, sweet love.
The more we converse with those with whom we differ, the more we begin to pick up the traits of sacred Scripture as it defines love as that which is “patient, kind, humble, polite, others-focused, not easily angered, forgiving and filled with hope and perseverance.”
All of that, I think, comes with a commitment to increased dialogue and conversation with our fellow citizens with whom we share this precious and miraculous earth. Not conversation on a cursory level, but on a deeper, more respectful one. Wouldn’t that be great to see taking place on all of the ‘social networks’ out there – Facebook, blogs, etc.? And wouldn’t it be great to see this behavior spreading into all of the world’s institutions – places such as schools, businesses, churches, synagogues and mosques?
I dream of a world growing into a heightened commitment to the power of conversation. And after that? Well, maybe a world where we can’t go anywhere without hearing people humming or whistling the tune to “What the World Needs Now.”
Idealistic? Perhaps. But the point of this post is not about ‘others’ and what ‘they’ will do or even how they will respond, if at all…the only question that is ever before us is what will I do?
10 comments to “The Power of Conversation”
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It’s akin to the proverbial chicken or egg first conundrum. Conversation does enhance a progression to love IF it’s premise is love to start out with. As you said, I come off of my stance a little and move toward you as you do the same with me. Each of us comes away with enhanced understanding and mutual respect of the other.” If love’s not the starting point, then I think everyone has seen a lot of conversation lead to some pretty good hatred too.
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Hello Tim,
I didn’t know you were here! Great posts and I hope you had a great Thanksgiving…I’ve missed your input
Alicia
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Authentic dialogue also deepens our self-understanding. At the least, we can actively engage another’s positions as a foil to our own to help us better understand our own. Engaging another’s propositions and conclusions, however, is secondary to engaging their personhood and humanity.
Even those whose moral and religious and political propositions would seem to articulate an existential threat to our personhood or nationhood are human beings with intrinsic dignity and unalienable rights, whom we must first engage relationally (if only through prayerful intentionality directed at their ultimate well-being) prior to engaging propositionally as an adversary. Think, here, of Billy Joel’s plaintive: “I know you never really cared for me, but did you ever say a prayer for me?”
In the ensuing dialogue, if we engage in active listening, we will likely discover that any adversarial disposition toward us is, in fact, rooted in the other’s existential fears of us, whether real or imagined. Words, alone, seldom erase such fear. Zero-sum bargaining and negotiations only reinforce the over-against dynamic. Trumping others’ propositional arguments with logical gotchas and the reiteration of historical complaints may satisfy the head but only hardens the heart.
Only grand gestures with practical significance for another’s safety and well-being can move another relationally, human to human.
Most people care more about how we feel toward them as persons than what we might happen to think about their propositions or position statements. Authentic communication and deep dialogue, then, aren’t fashioned from lofty words and clever turns of phrase but are advanced by grand gestures of benevolence and compassion that have little to do with what any of us truly deserve.
If we can’t make a grand gesture toward our co-worker or neighbor or spouse, there’s not much of a chance that a nation, as a people, will make grand gestures toward other nations, other people.
Grand gesture, you know, like God is with us, Emmanuel, or, Namaste, therefore …
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Tim, this is a pertinent post for me. Thank you. And thank you, Dena, Don, Alicia, John and everyone else for your comments.
Coming home from Thanksgiving over at my brother & nephew’s place, I heard the message below on the radio. I had an immediate internal emotional reaction which I then wanted to very much respond [if only in my internal conversation] in the most useful way love, thru conversation can [as Kevin’s 11-30-09 Parousia refers to] create common sacred ground for us.
That evening, I composed an initial draft in response and sensed that wanted to share it with you all for further discussion/modification, before and/or whether I communicated it back to the messenger.
Wow! Your post and comments all have been the way of greater enlightenment!
What kind of initial emotional reaction do you all get? How might you all respond to the messenger?
I know that I am already seeing modifications of what I can do to get to know the messenger better for a better way to have a conversation with him.
Thanks and regards, CarlCrystal Clear was airing on Thursday, November 26, 2009. It is of the Not a Sermon, Just a Thought series at www notasermon org / default htm
“I’m determined to be so clear that no honest man could misunderstand me and dishonest man could successfully misrepresent me.”
Hi. This is Lon Solomon, pastor of McLean Bible Church. And these words where spoken by President Abraham Lincoln.
You know, Jesus Christ could have said this very same thing. When He was here on earth, He was crystal clear about how people can get eternal life and spend eternity in heaven – so clear in fact that no honest person can possibly misunderstand Him.
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one gets into heaven except thru me.”
Not a sermon, just a thought.Hi brother Lon,
I agree that clear communication is a hallmark of enlightenment. However the investigation I have made leads me to the conclusion that you have unfortunately misquoted Jesus.
Let us take Jesus seriously enough never to misquote him, particularly over the mass media, potentially causing a massive misquote – and the misfortune of mass misinformation.
I read John 14 : 6 in the twenty different versions found at www biblegateway com. I also read it at www concordant org / version / NewFiles 04_John htm and at www greekbiblestudy org and in it, Jesus uses the simplest labial sound of the infant acknowledging its father to clearly communicate our state of relationship to the divine, which was not clearly communicated on air with the mass media of radio.
Too often our worldview agenda does not allow us to carefully and clearly listen to what another person is communicating to us. This unfortunately causes us to miss the communication of another person who is saying what he means and meaning what he says to us.
It is a good thing that we can recognize this kind of honest mistake and avert the potential disaster such error can cause as we continue to learn from Jesus.
Sincerely, brother Carl -
Carl … I know Lon Solomon … or, at least, I met and schmoozed with him, back when we lived in the DC area. I could *hear* him saying, “not a sermon – just a thought!”
Did ya send him your own thought…?
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Hi Dena,
I have not sent him any thoughts back – yet – if truly needed as a part of loving conversation [see my other post comment to Tim’s Stages and Pages.]
I’ve been learning more about him and the group. There appears to be some discussion groups on facebook and yahoo [one that combines a passion of Christ with a passion of motorcycles.] These might be members only. There might not be a standard opportunity to have an open forum with them.
What opportunities do you see thru your extensive blogging and multiple group participation?
Thanks, Carl -
Hmmm… I’ve long been out of touch with Lon and that group … I would imagine that you might find an email address for him, or his staff, on his website perhaps?
Sorry for the delay — I’m not getting notifications on this blog! I’ll be out of communication for the next few days …
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Dena,
Welcome back from your participation at the Portland, Oregon Christmas Bazaar.
I thought I saw some general contacts to McLean bible church, but I haven’t made any conversation contact to date. I’m wondering what additional reaction you got from listening/reading that radio message and how any of us might lovingly communicate – what, when?
It seemed that the most important thing for me had been a more loving communication with myself over this and, of course, so apt to be more loving with everyone else including Lon.
This has been another great post of Tim’s, with great comments from everyone. Thanks. I gain each time I read it.
-Carl
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I thought Tim’s Stages and Pages post, with everyone’s comments is great companion part to the Power of Conversation post.
Ahhhhh yes — Schmooze-to-Love…!
I’m participating, as a vendor, at an art/craft show this weekend. So far, I’ve sold nada. Methinks turkey dulls the purchasing gene.
However, as always, I’ve had some tremendous conversations. At times I think I’m an undercover conversationalist, posting as an artist. The art is just the “bait” to draw them in.
Because my art is bright, colorful and vibrant, they come in grinning, as if drawn by magnets .. they want more joy. And we go from there…