RSS 
E-Mail10 comments
Yet another cultural hero has fallen. This week the many fans of Tiger Woods (and I’m one of them) awoke to reports that Tiger was in a minor car accident outside of his home. Details were sketchy but it appeared he may have been on medication which could explain how he could hit a fire hydrant and then a tree as he exited his property at approximately two in the morning – it was also reported that at the scene Tiger appeared to be going ‘in and out of consciousness.’
Initially I didn’t think much of it. I mean, hey, at two in the morning I often go in and out of consciousness as well – without any medication! I also remember wondering what the heck he was doing leaving his house at 2am.
Evidently, so was the press.
Among media that have lost sight of the distinction between news and gossip, it wasn’t long before rumors and reports of rumors began surfacing. Before long the story of Tiger’s indiscretion(s) and those possibly involved in them commanded the attention of media outlets everywhere: TV, radio, blogs, newspapers – everywhere we turned, there was a new story about a new rumor involving yet another accusation.
Eventually all I heard playing in my mind was the Don Henley song “Dirty Laundry.” And before long, a “bubble-headed bleach-blonde” on the evening news was giving us all the lurid and tawdry details we never wanted to know.
So now the question is: What do we do with this story?
Personally, I think it presents us with a good teaching opportunity on many different levels. Anybody who has witnessed Tiger play knows two things about him: he’s a great golfer, and he’s got issues. He responds to poor shots by unleashing a barrage of ‘f-bombs,’ often slamming his club into the ground in disgust. At times his actions seem to belie the anger of someone with deep internal struggles.
Maybe this is because he carries the pressure of having been raised to be the world’s best golfer since he was old enough to walk. Perhaps he carries the angst of coming from a broken home where his parents divorced and were not together in the formative years of his life. Maybe his rage comes from the loss of his father, the person he called ‘my best friend.’
With all of those issues doesn’t it seem like it was only a matter of time before he acted out in unhealthy ways? Haven’t many of us followed similar paths, albeit less public ones?
And what of our issues, struggles and rage? What do we do with them? Isn’t this how we create heroes to begin with – by unfairly projecting our desires to be better onto them, demanding that their strengths compensate for our weaknesses? Hero worship is a dodge, a way of hiding from our own responsibility.
On a talk show this morning a woman argued against forgiving Tiger. “After all,” she said, “he owes us.” Her point was that he has made a lot of money and so that means that he has a higher responsibility to be a role model, etc. The argument seems to be that we have purchased the right to demand a higher moral standard of our cultural icons. Something doesn’t seem right in that equation.
I hurt for Tiger. He’s messed up, badly. And he has to go through the rest of his life knowing that he will be remembered as much for this incident as for his golfing legacy. And even worse, he knows that as his children mature they will be able to find the details of these events as well just by Googling their father’s name. And as for his marriage, Woods is in “intense marriage counseling” but it’s a long and arduous path back to health.
I’ll never forgive Tiger Woods. I’ll never forgive Tiger Woods because Tiger Woods has never done anything to me that warrant my forgiveness. I have no reason to give it; he has no reason to seek it. The real question for those who made him a hero to begin with is: Can Tiger Woods ever forgive them?
10 comments to “Why I’ll Never Forgive Tiger Woods”
-
What EP said. That is the whole point of this sad episode. We do indeed project onto those we admire what we feel we lack in ourselves, and when they inevitably fail we can’t forgive them (i.e. US) for being less than perfect. We godda grow up and see that everything we need we have within us.
-
Right on, Tim. Reconciliation is long and arduous in that scenario. The practices of forgiveness and mercy, discipline and transparency will need to be employed, as in all our lives. Wishing them well.
-
I just really wish that as you have said in the past Tim. There is my business, your business and God’s business. Why can’t we as a society just mind our own business? And why are so many so shocked that Tiger all of a sudden seems to be just like the rest of us? He has always worn his emotions on his sleeve and he has desires and so on just like all of us. Yes I will admit he is in the spot light more often then most and he should have had greater self control, however as a man and knowing what I know, it isn’t the least bit surprising that Tiger would fall into something like that. I can’t be 100% sure I wouldn’t do the same thing given the same circumstances. So I can’t judge him because we all live in glass house and you know what happens when one throws stones when we all live in one.
-
Andy, since I know Lauri reads this blog — I’m glad you didn’t say more than you did!
-
-
I was sent a photoshop’d pic of Tiger Woods standing with his gorgeous wife. I didn’t recognize his face because apparently it had been badly smashed up. He didn’t look like the Tiger Woods I was used to seeing. No explanation, just the pic.
Well, I hadn’t heard what passes for news more and more these days, otherwise known as gossip. “He cheated on his wife.” A phrase that sounds very ignorant to me. As though marriage is a test. Well, it is. But can someone please explain to me the meaning of pass/failing that particular test? What does that really mean? That love fails? Is it proof that love doesn’t exist? Is it proof that demands and “should’s” are necessary to keep people in line with the ever elusive ideal that love is? Or does it mean love is a commodity, one that requires proper strewardship.
What about living in relationship with others? I think it can be a lost art. Lost because hearts are hard and coffers are full and we’ve forgotten how to share what we have. So many people have little idea that the only reason for success is because of the support of many individuals and NOT necessarily due to our own efforts.
If we’re successful in our relationships (or even if we haven’t always ..or ever.. been as successful as we’d like), surely we have much to thank people for. And with gratitude for what we experience with others and grow from can come generosity for those who also want the same and never had it. Maybe that’s Tiger Woods, maybe it’s relatives or friends or neighbors or perfect strangers.
-
Yeah, you nailed it Tim. Nice hook too..hehe. Love your slant on things…it’s so, um..clear.
-
well Tim, that is why I didn’t say any more. I don’t own a expensive SUV and I don’t golf but It wouldn’t look real good with Lauri chasing me down the road with a wrench busting out the back window of my 1988 honda!!.
-
He owes me an apology because I bought some Nike golf clubs and I still can’t shoot under par.
-
You have a point… I hadn’t considered that!
-
‘The real question for those who made him a hero to begin with is: Can Tiger Woods ever forgive them?’ GREAT point as he has been put on a pedestal. Idols always fall.
EP