Please check back Monday, March 22nd where you can look forward to once again reading 3 posts per week throughout the Spring and Summer!

These posts are important to me and I pray are helpful and encouraging to you! Thanks so much for following this blog!!

Till then… Blessings!

The world would be dark indeed — bankrupt of purpose, it would seem.

But I have a bit of a ‘bone to pick’ with many of these expressions. Primarily when we think of love or what inspires us to consider its absence or presence in our lives we usually look upward. For instance, we behold the bright blue skies, the fullness of the moon and competition among stars as each seeks to outshine the other in order to gain our attention; we peruse sunrises and sunsets, our brow is lifted as we search the fragrance of flowers, blooming trees or seasons delivered to us upon the breeze of the wind. Ah, yes… love is ‘in the air,’ we sing.

But as I gain more experience with such things, I wonder if this is not more about a swiftly fading and elusive romance than the love I have, and continue coming to know.

This love, a love I tend to think of as ‘true’ love, is something I am discovering much more frequently by looking down. As I enter into the second half of life, I’m so drawn to the significance of the solid earth upon which I stand. I stand in awe of the groundedness of where I now discover love versus the breezy-flighty-change-every-day sort of idea about love with which I once sought and wrestled.

The other day I was having this discussion with my wife about the entirety of my life and of our life together over the past 30+ years. I reflected upon the fine line between a life well-lived, a life of raging success, versus one of raging failure. We laughed at the fine line – a very thin line – that distinguishes one from the other.

My conclusion was that by all outward appearances, my life is a success. And then we laughed recalling how all of that is because Love has done its work despite my/our attempts to thwart it at every turn. Talk about thanking God for unanswered prayers. This seeming ‘outward’ success of my life is a mirage, a false portrait masking the constant stupidity with which I have lived.

Yep, in spite of myself, today I know love… I know Love.

Love does its work in the soil of toil, sweat, pain and a million-and-one failed recipes. And all along the way it tries to get us to look down and take inventory of where we stand and the substance of that out of which we’re choosing to grow.

Without the ground, there would be no wind to race upon it. And even if there were, without the ground beneath, there would be no fragrance to carry for there would be no trees that grow, no flowers that bloom, and no seasons that change. Without the ground beneath, there would be no basis to enjoy a world full of awe and wonder, of challenge and mystery. Without the ground beneath, there would be nothing to carry the currents that produce the waves that so often call us to oceans’ side for a retreat and a time of deep reflection.

So, how’s your love-life? Make sure you look down before you answer that.

Geez, you’re fat!

You stupid loser!

Way to go, Einstein!

I mean… how could you do that?!

No wonder nobody likes you!

I don’t think you’ll be winning a metal for best parent anytime soon!

You’re such a lousy person – your spouse must be disgusted with you!

You don’t have friends because you don’t deserve them!

Your personality sucks!

You’re a failure: An utter… abject… reeking… failure!

If there is a hell, nobody deserves to go there more than you!

If somebody could say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you’re the one I’m betting on!

You have no willpower whatsoever. None. Zippo!

Okay, who said these things… and to whom did they say them?

YOU DID… you said them about yourself to yourself – these and sadly, many more! Things you would NEVER say to others, you perpetually say to yourself. And that is, or should be, an eye-opening thought to spend some time contemplating.

If you think about it, we could stand to be a whole lot more compassionate to ourselves, eh?

The next time you find yourself saying something critical to yourself, do this: Imagine standing in line behind a complete stranger at the bank or the grocery store, and then saying to ‘them’ what you just said to ‘yourself.’ You’ll be surprised at how mortified such a thought can be – and then you’ll also begin wondering why you would be so unkind to yourself.

How odd it is that we save our nicest side for complete strangers while unloading our hatred, angst, frustration and negative emotions on ourselves. If it’s wrong to say such things to others, you can be certain it’s equally wrong to say them to yourself.

We may think we’re deserving of such criticism, but we aren’t. ‘How can I be so certain,’ you ask? Because everybody – everybody – does the same thing. All of us have had our moments when we turned on ourselves, unleashing a barrage of very unflattering criticisms that were, well, not very nice.

And while we may feel justified in saying such things to ourselves, the fact is that sooner or later these same feelings (or God help us, exact words) get expressed to those closest to us. We unleash these negative feelings on our children, siblings, spouses, etc. Negative emotions never remain behind secured walls deep within us. They always find their way to the surface.

So, as you go about your day(s), be on guard for any negative self talk. Then imagine saying such things to a complete stranger. Then laugh… and cut yourself some slack. You deserve it. You’re awesome. No, wait, it’s more than that… you’re divine!

The story is as follows: A group of Geography students studied the Seven Wonders of the World. At the end of that section, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, ‘Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.’ The Teacher said, ‘Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.’ The girl hesitated, then read aloud, ‘I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:

1. To touch
2. To taste
3. To see
4. To hear

…hesitating she continued…

     5.  To run

     6.  To laugh

     7.  And to Love’

 I guess the point is that this weekend all of us have access to some of the greatest wonders the world has to offer – and they didn’t come from our peers, either. If we choose to be attuned to these things, I’m thinking that no matter how our week has been, we will experience delight, gratitude, love, empathy and compassion in ways often not recovered by living rote lives given to the tyranny of the good – but in the present moment something much greater than good extends itself to us all.

Have a great weekend!

To some degree, I suppose all of us are in the peace and reconciliation business. For instance, who among us hasn’t faced the need to address the periodic tension that occurs in our familial relationships or at work or even play? It’s inevitable – where two or more are gathered together, eventually tension will arise. How we deal with it can bring life or death, healing or hurt, dignity or disaster.

A while back it occurred to me that without the principle of tension not one bridge would remain. Bridges are built upon and stand due to tension. And bridges, I reasoned, are a good thing. Therefore, tension can be good too. And that thought helps me deal a little better with what I now know is an un-get-overable part of life – tension.

I also think that tension must be something ordained by God. Otherwise, wouldn’t we be created without the differences that surely exist between us? Without such differences, we’d be a note rather than a symphony, a lyric without a chorus. And so we’d miss out on the multi-faceted beauty of life – a beauty that more and more I’m coming to see inherent within the concept of ‘mutual modification.’

Mutual modification is just that – one or more people coming together to produce something greater than themselves; something that without the need to modify, would simply be a monotone colorless existence.

But mutual modification takes a lot of communication and effort. It demands a certain sense of ethics and authenticity. In short, it takes the love that does not seek its own, is not arrogant and is empathic enough to consider the other. And in the process, the other grows in value and worth in our eyes as we do in theirs.

I think that what is lacking in the present political discourse is mutual modification. To see just how distant a reality this is we might even evoke the idea of love to make our point – a seeming out of place and absurd idea for politics, eh?

Imagine showing up on the House or Senate floor and announcing a cure-all for battling Republicans and Democrats – “Hey everybody, I’ve figured it out – here’s how we can balance the budget, restore jobs, assist the poor and cut out all of that self-centered bantering and bickering – we just need love.”

Yeah, that’d go over well, wouldn’t it?

Discussions of Love are usually confined to our churches, mosques and synagogues. But I’ve got news for you – if they don’t start entering our political discourse, why worry about the world we’re leaving for our children? There won’t be one.

Do you feel the tension?