I think that question is actually something that should be asked of everyone and often. Each of us is born blind, born into the false-self of egoic grasping and darkness. Along life’s way, if we’re fortunate, we come to learn the way of living with eyes wide open – we come to be ‘born again.’ The first birth is in blindness to the true self. The second birth is the day we come to own who we really have been created to be. And that day is the greatest day we will ever know.

In following the Jesus story I see how many times this played itself out. Even his followers went through a process of blindness to sight. John the Baptist once sent messengers to Jesus to ask if he were really the awaited-for Christ. Jesus simply said, Go tell John what you ‘see’ – the sick are healed, the lame walk the dead rise, etc.

After a great catch of fish – so many the boat began to sink, so many it was beyond mere coincidence – Peter fell at the feet of Jesus in honor of who he now saw and believed Jesus to be. His eyes were, in effect, opened.

Others, perhaps Thomas (the doubter) is a good example, never quite seemed to be able to fully open their eyes – certainly we could make a case for Judas as succumbing to such perpetual blindness. But even so, there are numerous others who did come to see – like the Samaritan woman at the well or perhaps the centurion soldiers at the foot of the cross.

I often wonder how well the many spiritual organizations who gather in the name of Jesus today are doing helping people transition from such egoic-false-self blindness to a state of the enlightened self/sight. If the litmus test is that the false-self is that part of humankind that believes it must do everything (or at least, the bulk of everything) on its own, that it is about the power of the individual and the abilities and will of the self, then we may be walking a fine line indeed. To borrow another biblical metaphor, we may still only be seeing the people around us vaguely, ‘as trees walking,’ or ‘through a glass darkly.’ There is still much sight to be gained.

Sometimes sight is found outside of the religious norm; often it happens with chance encounters of Jesus (Christ consciousness) today. Maybe someone in the name of God steps into our lives and helps us begin seeing our true natures, our true selves in ways to which we were previously blind. Gaining sight this way is often discredited by the religious elite as if it’s somehow not ‘official’ because it occurred outside of the approved organization.

It’s sort of like the story from the Gospels where a blind man receives his sight only to be accused, condemned and discredited by the Temple leaders. They ask the man, “Who healed you? What was his name?” The blind man mocks them saying, “Isn’t this interesting, never has such a deed of a blind man receiving sight been recorded and yet you don’t even know the name of the one who did it!”

The promise is universal: Seek and you will find. Ask and it will be given you. Knock and the door will be opened. Blindness was never meant to be the final word.

So, ‘have you been blind your entire life?’

So I’ll ask it of you: What are you hearing… from God?

For me, that’s a question that holds great significance and probably one that we should be discussing more often with our friends and family. I think we might be surprised at the answer(s) we get. I have a close friend who often does conferences for churches and has them answer the following: If God is so good, then why do I feel so (fill in the blank)? You’d be surprised at some of the responses. Without exception the negativity of what people are thinking/hearing/feeling regarding God is astounding.

Though God speaks to all people, not everyone hears this voice. And even more sadly, a lot of people hear some pretty negative things from God – usually because of internalizing negative messages they’re receiving at church or their spiritual fellowship of choice – which is one of the reasons when I hear things like that I usually ask them a volatile question: What would it look like if you were to walk out the door and never return?

Just this past week a friend asked if he could come over and spend some time processing together. The predicament in which he found himself centered around his involvement in a church as an ‘insider’ and the discouragement he felt now that he was aware of all of the politics, insensitivity and endless obsessions over growing the church rolls and increasing the weekly contributions. It no longer felt like a place of worship, a place of learning or mystery or even a place where God could be met. It had, in his opinion, simply become just another ‘deal’ where people heard the voice of God in negative and condemnatory ways that brought them down instead of lifting them up. So I told him, FORGET CHURCH. His life got much better.

That’s too bad. Imagine, the eternal Source of all life, living in and among (and refreshingly beyond) all things… and all we can think this One is saying to us are things more akin to disappointment and condemnation rather than love.

I told my friend what I tell everyone in this situation – listen to your heart, listen for the voice of God – then the way will become clear. And then I share why I left the institutional gig almost a decade ago and the growth I have experienced since. I try to be sensitive when doing this because not everyone is like me (and my wife). The biblical admonishment of “two or more” for some people just doesn’t work – they do better in larger, more structured groups/churches.

That being said, as for me and my family, we’ll never return to such a place. Not because we despise it or feel we’ve found the ultimate way for everyone, but because we’ve found our place. And in our place, when someone asks “So, what are you hearing these days” the answer is simple: We’re hearing the One in whom we live and move and have our being. We’re hearing the rustling leaves of the garden as this One passes by – and we’re hearing this voice in all of the surrounding creation. And what does this voice say? It says, “Well done, my love, well done!”

So, what are you hearing these days?

I can relate. Though I’ve been out of the institutional grind for about 8 years now, I certainly remember how strange it felt the first few months of not attending anywhere. Not only was there a sense of loss but it was accompanied by a ‘now what?’ feeling that I couldn’t escape – ‘what do I do, should I start my own group, do I just sit around and watch TV, what about my old friends and how do I make new ones?’ And of course the ever-lingering question: ‘Is God disappointed in me?’

Because everybody’s situation is different there really isn’t a clear-cut way to give voice to such questions. At best I can only share my opinions and experiences and hope they help encourage others like my new friend.

One anchor for my dealing with life ‘post-church’ was adamantly hanging on to the belief that what was most needed was ‘time’ – give it time. After attending church three times a week for life, teaching class, preaching, doing special outreaches for singles and the divorced, there was no way I was going to make sense of what my new life would/should look like apart from just chilling out and seeing what (the Universe, G-D, life, Love) brought my way. I was realistic about it taking time, and for me, that was a very helpful way to reframe and gain the needed perspective regarding my new circumstances.

And sure enough, in time, I came to find great peace in the unbounded freedom I was discovering: Freedom of thought, creativity and imagination. In time I felt such an openness toward meeting new people, embracing strangers and folks I previously would have referred to as ‘the other.’ I found liberation in dropping my conversion mentality and prayed only for opportunities to serve and contribute to the lives of others – no matter how small or insignificant these opportunities were.

As time passed I realized the true meaning of integrity – which is when our thoughts, words and actions all align. Slowly it began to come clear how dis-integrated I was being immersed in a church culture that, in so many ways, just wasn’t where my head-space or heart-space really was. That’s a terrible place to be, isn’t it – in a place where you can’t really say what you believe or hope or dream because you know it isn’t ‘orthodox’?

Make no mistake, it takes time to go from studying the epistles to becoming a living walking/talking/loving epistle in all that you do. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen. And when it happens you may (actually, you WILL) be surprised at how together you feel and how much more effective you are at reaching out to others with the love they so desperately desire.

Leaving church isn’t for everyone – there are some great communities out there I’d love to be a part of – but for now, anyway, that just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. I’m at peace with that. I’ve grown immensely because of it and moving forward feel no need to force the issue.

What used to be the ‘post-church-blues’ has now become life in the full presence of Presence – 24/7.

It’s a nice place to be.

I’m guessing the same sort of delusional, idiotic person who, in the name of religion and all that is holy, would forbid others to celebrate this day to begin with!

I’ll explain…

This post is for a good friend I’ll simply call “Shore Leave.” Love you bro!

This is probably the first Christmas in the last several years that SL will be celebrating. You see, SL has just been booted from a religious group who, in the name of Jesus, chooses not only ‘not’ to celebrate Christmas but also to abstain from celebrating any holiday… including one’s own birthday.

I’m not totally unfamiliar with this sort of reasoning as there are actually parts of my own family tree (which, in places, doesn’t fork) who feel this way. They reason from the same Scripture I use to celebrate the birth of Jesus (even if he was really born in April, not December, blah, blah, blah) to argue against celebrating the birth of Jesus on Christmas Day.

And God help you if you dare think about putting a wreath on the front door of the Church building… that little thing about Luther and his ‘95 Thesis’ is child’s-play compared to a Christmas wreath! And as for a Christmas tree in a church building? Are you kidding me?! Absolutely heretical to the highest degree!

I’m talking ‘Old-lady-passing-out pornographic’ heretical!

Now, while I’m usually a fairly strong proponent of trying to find things to celebrate in all faiths, no matter how oddly disparate from my own, I’m invoking an exception today and claiming it as a Christmas gift to myself to write this somewhat, as some will see it, offensive and intolerant piece on a certain segment of religion.

So ‘Merry Christmas’ to me… and to Shore Leave.

Shore Leave made a grievous error and has and continues to pay for it greatly. Like the kid in Christmas Story who breaks etiquette by skipping ‘double-dog-dare-ya,’ going straight to ‘triple-dog-dare-ya,’ SL blew religious etiquette by asking too many questions too persistently. He found holes in their story, history and interpretation of a book they said they followed to ‘the letter of the law.’ And he wanted to know ‘why’?

But asking religion ‘why’ is like challenging the proverbial ‘because I said so!’ of our parents – you’ll be sorry you did and most likely won’t like what comes next. And for SL, what came next was not only losing his spiritual family and fellowship, but losing some of his related family as well – even to the extent of being divorced by his wife – and that can make for a not-so-wonderful religious experience.

SL is trying to move on and my guess is that he will do just that – in ways greater than any of us can imagine today. He’s moved to a new city and taken on a new job. He’s making new friends and more than ever embracing the family he has remaining as a great gift from the divine. He’s exchanged a toxic religion for the embrace of a healing Creator.

And he’s still asking questions, just this time of people who love mystery as much or more than the answers they’re seeking – people who embrace that which is not known while investing time in the genuine praise of doubt – people who love spirituality more than religious (expletive deleted).

In some circles ‘True Believers’ don’t celebrate Halloween. Nor Christmas. Nor, thankfully, the G-D I know!

To Walmart with them on a day before a holiday!

(That was the worst thing I could think to wish upon such people. I wanted to say ‘go to hell’ but I don’t believe in one and my mother reads this blog.)

So, Shore Leave…

Celebrate.

Rejoice.

Embrace the freedom.

And most of all, on this very special day, know that YOU are LOVED!!

Merry Christmas, SL… from all of us, Merry Christmas!

What, exactly, was expected (commanded?) regarding these sacrifices that would make Abel’s sacrifice more acceptable than Cain’s? And even though the New Testament tells us that Abel’s sacrifice was ‘better,’ it still doesn’t tell us exactly ‘why.’ We can make good guesses and frame adequate hypothesis but are still left without certainty. And so it is with the post-murder claim summation of God to Cain – “your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.” What, exactly, does that mean?

By looking at the earliest traceable religious cultures in history, blood begets blood, i.e., ‘revenge.’ And this is what seems is going on in the Genesis text: The blood of Abel is crying out for revenge against his brother. This interpretation seems bolstered by Cain’s protestation that his banishment will bring about his death via the revenge of another on behalf of Cain. To protect against this, God puts a mark upon Cain so that all will know not to take his life.

Contrasting this theory of the ‘blood of Abel crying out from the ground for revenge’ is what the Book of Hebrews says regarding the blood of Jesus: “…Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the [his] sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel” (Hebrews 12:24).

By comparing the death of Jesus and his final words “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” with the report of Abel’s blood crying out from the ground, it does not seem much of a stretch to see the text as contrasting a defiled religion attaching itself to ‘revenge’ with a pure religion attaching itself to ‘forgiveness.’ After all, just a few verses earlier in the Hebrews text is the call to “make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy” (Hebrews 12:14).

Based on our sacred literature then, it seems our ‘religious’ options are that we can cry out for ‘revenge’ or ‘forgiveness.’ One of them is clearly in line with an old system where bloodshed begets more bloodshed, while the other leads to forgiveness and the way of the cross and the last words of Jesus.

In listening to the rhetoric today among Christians, which of these two options is more consistently called for? Could it be that the blood of Abel is presently crying out more loudly than the blood of Jesus – even among Jesus’ own followers? If so, wouldn’t that go down in history as one of the cruelest of ironies? Assuming, that is, that there will be a civilization around to even record such a history, if the revengers have their (our?) way.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called ‘children of God.’”